Words Never Spoken

By Flossy

Disclaimer: The following story is a work of fan fiction, and as such is for fan enjoyment only. All recognizable characters/settings are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended, and no profit is made.  I’m afraid that despite wishing that I did, I don’t own these characters.  Not even my muses’ voodoo could make them mine (and believe me, they used a LOT of chicken blood and other such occult doodads), nor could my militant blue badgers.  DO NOT MESS WITH THE BADGERS.  Still, I suppose that having the boys out on loan for a while is better than nothing…

Summary: Episode Tag for ’38 Minutes‘.  Carson reflects on John’s encounter with the Wraith tic.

Central Character(s): John and Carson, with Rodney, Ford, Teyla and Elizabeth.

Category (ies): Friendship, episode tag.

Placement: Season One.

Rating:PG.

Spoilers: ’38 Minutes‘.

Author’s Note: The next in my ‘Aftermath’ series.  Poor old Shep!  The Wraith tic was icky – the squelchy sound really creeped me out!  Anyway, just a bit of fairly pointless, totally self indulgent fluff…

_____________________________________________________________________Dr Carson Beckett was exceptional at lurking.  He was also an authority in moving silently if the need arose, and so none of them realised he was stood in the corner of the infirmary, listening in to their conversation.  He felt like he was eavesdropping, but firmly told himself that it was his infirmary and he had the right to stand wherever he bloody well liked.  Besides, he wanted to do a final check on the Major before letting him settle in for the night. 

Sheppard was going to be fine after his unfortunate encounter with the Wraith bug, but Carson was a firm believer in the ‘you can’t be too careful’ philosophy – and didn’t give a rat’s arse if that made him a mother hen.  As much as he relied on his medical equipment, there was something reassuring and grounding about feeling a patient’s pulse under his fingertips.  It had been close – too bloody close for his liking – but John had come out no worse for wear physically from his ordeal. 

“He’s got quite the hickey, but Dr Beckett says he’ll be fine in a few days,” McKay informed the group.  From his vantage point in the shadows, Carson could see the slightly haunted look on the physicist’s face, and he didn’t begrudge the man’s blatant relief.  After all, it wasn’t every day that you saw a colleague, a friend, being pulled back from the brink. 

He allowed himself a small smile at the thought of Sheppard and McKay – now there was an unlikely alliance if ever he saw one.  They were like chalk and cheese, but for some strange, indeterminable reason they had clicked.  Good for them, the Scotsman thought fondly.  From what he had seen of the two men’s exchanges, John seemed to value having someone around who could match wits with him and the Canadian certainly loved a challenge.

“We should let you rest,” Teyla said gently, smiling at John.  Carson liked Teyla.  She was a nice lass, but he hoped to God he never got on her bad side.  He’d heard rumours that she could deck a man with just one well placed fist.

“No, you should get me food,” John protested.

“I think we can arrange that,” Elizabeth replied. 

Ford hopped down off of the cot he had been sitting on.  Carson got on well with the young Lt.  He reminded the Scot of one of his cousins from back home – eternally optimistic, always with a cheeky, self-confident grin.  “Welcome back, sir,” the young man said.

“I have to admit it’s a pleasant surprise,” Sheppard answered, smiling at the rest of his team, who had turned to leave.

“By the way, what were you going to say?” asked Elizabeth, and Beckett’s ears pricked up.  The others turned back, obviously interested as well.

“When?” asked John.

“Before, when you thought, you know…” she answered, trailing off helplessly.

“Oh, that,” John said, after a pause. 

“I didn’t want you to say it at the time, but now I’m curious.”
Elizabeth wasn’t the only one.

“I was going to say, um…”  John paused for a long time and the Scotsman swore he could hear the gears rapidly changing in the pilot’s head.  “Take care of each other.”

Carson saw Rodney smirk, and had to bite back a snigger of his own at the Major’s comment.

“That’s nice,” Weir said diplomatically.  She obviously didn’t believe a word of it.

“Yep,” John agreed.

“And, uh, indeed we did,” Rodney said, his earlier expression replaced by the familiar smug grin. 

Carson had seen how terrified McKay had been back in the jumper when he and his medical team had been trying to restart Sheppard’s heart.  Knowing Rodney as well as he did, Beckett knew that the Canadian hated not being able to do anything and that watching the scene must have been torturous.

“Yes, you did,” John replied, obviously amused.  “Thank you.  Again.”

“You’re welcome.”  Rodney’s eyes flicked over to the corner and Carson’s heart skipped a beat, but instead of calling out to him, the physicist simply tipped his head slightly and gave a quick half smile. 

Thanks, Carson…

“Goodnight,” Teyla said, ushering Ford and McKay out with her.

Elizabeth made to follow, but turned back to John.  “You weren’t really going to say that, were you?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Sheppard said in his most innocent voice. 

Like hell you don’t, thought Carson.

“I didn’t think so,” Weir replied with a smile before she turned and headed out of the infirmary. 

John settled down into his bed and Carson waited for a good ten count before moving from his hiding place.  “Major,” he said brightly. 

“Hi, doc,” John replied, looking up at him sleepily.  “Can you get me some food?  I really am starving, you know.”

“You’re starting to sound like Rodney,” Beckett replied with a grin as he checked the pilot’s monitors.

“Yeah, I know.  Kinda scary, huh?”  John gave him a cheeky grin and fluttered his eyelids theatrically.  He even pouted, knowing full well that it had no effect whatsoever on the loveable Scotsman.  “Please will you feed me?” he begged.

“Later, son.  Right now, you need to rest.  You’re body’s had a hell of an ordeal.”  He smiled at the put-upon expression on John’s face but quickly sobered.  “You gave everyone a damn good fright,” he scolded quietly, his fingers pressing against the pulse point on Sheppard’s wrist.

“I gave myself a damn good fright, doc,” the Major replied.  “The pain I could deal with, but when that thing practically paralysed me…  It scared the crap out of me knowing that I couldn’t get up to help Rodney.”  He looked at his hands sheepishly.  “It was like I could, I dunno, sense the problem but couldn’t do anything.”

Carson nodded sympathetically, remembering the radio conversation.  John had tried to sound calm and neutral about everything but, thanks to his training, Beckett had heard the undertone of blind panic.  “It was close,” he said.

“Too close,” Sheppard replied.  “And not just for me.”

“Aye, lad, I know.”

And Carson did – he really, really did. 

When the Jumper had gotten stuck in the Gate, they’d nearly lost SGA-1 along with Markham and Stackhouse.  Luckily, Rodney had managed to fix the problem and Kavanaugh (of all people) had provided the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle, but…

For a few horrible minutes, Carson had been convinced that he’d have at least four eulogies to prepare.

“I was thinking about changing the team,” John told him quietly. 

That comment took the physician by surprise.  “What on earth for?”

“If things had gone south today, not only would Elizabeth have lost her military commander, but his second in command and her Chief Science Officer.  And the Athosians would have lost their leader,” John replied.  “Not to mention Markham and Stackhouse.”

Carson sighed.  “Look, Major, I can understand why you’re saying this, really I do.  But everyone who’s a member of an off-world team knows that there’s a chance that they won’t come back.  I know for a fact that you’d rather stick pins in your eyes than rotate people.”  He saw John frown, but continued, “Every member of your team gave a hundred and ten percent today to get back in one piece and save your life.  Moving them around will not only be an insult, it won’t solve anything.  All you’ll end up doing is alienating and upsetting them.  They deserve better.  And,” he added as he checked the dressing on Sheppard’s neck, “just because you had one bad experience does nae mean that every mission will end badly.”

“I guess.”

“Good.  You know, I honestly believe that you’d end up with a full-blown mutiny on your hands if you re-assigned Rodney and Aiden.”  He grinned as John snorted a laugh.  “Trust me when I say those two are the best individual practical jokers I’ve ever met.  If the pair of them teamed up, I imagine the results would be pretty terrifying.”

“Yeah,” John agreed, grinning slightly at the mental image.  “Did you hear what Rodney did to Kavanaugh when he found out that he wanted to leave us for dead?”

Carson nodded.  He’d heard a rumour about a certain engineer being on the receiving end of an exploding soda can… that had been tampered with by none other than the Chief Science Officer. 

Of course, nobody had to know that he’d been an accomplice.

“I hope to God I never warrant that kind of attention from them,” Sheppard continued.

Beckett chuckled.  “Now that is a bloody terrifying thought.”  He looked meaningfully at the young officer.  “Stop fretting and get some rest, son.”

Sheppard wriggled in his cot, getting comfortable.  “Thanks, doc,” he replied.  “I guess it was just the whole ‘near death experience’ freaking me out a little.”

The physician squeezed John’s shoulder.  “Aye, I imagine so.”  He finished his checks and turned to leave.

“Hey, doc?”

Beckett turned back.  “Yes, Major?”

“Can I at least have a cookie?”

FIN