The End Is Nigh

By Flossy

Disclaimer: The following story is a work of fan fiction, and as such is for fan enjoyment only. All recognizable characters/settings are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended, and no profit is made.  I’m afraid that despite wishing that I did, I don’t own these characters.  I’ve just borrowed them for a while.  (Although, I may hang onto McKay and Sheppard for a bit longer – they’re a lot of fun…)

Summary: Sequel to ‘Casualties of War’.

Central Character(s): Rodney and John.

Category (ies): Humour, friendship.

Placement: Season Three sometime after ‘Common Ground’.

Rating: PG.

Spoilers: ‘Common Ground’ and a little one for ‘Sateda’.

Author’s Note: Last time I mention this in any of my fics.  Promise.  Sort of.  Maybe.

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Rodney McKay walked over to the table where John Sheppard was sat, absent-mindedly picking at the food in front of him.  “So, Colonel, how’s things?” asked the Canadian.  He was well aware of the ordeal that the pilot had recently been through – McKay and the others had only been able to watch as Kolya had let that Wraith feed on him.

Sheppard looked up at McKay.  “Oh, you know,” he said in a forcedly cheerful voice, “they just are.”  He returned his attention to his plate and half-heartedly speared something that looked like bacon.

If bacon was yellow, that was.

“Hmm.”

Sheppard let out a sigh.

McKay observed him critically.  “You know, if you wanna talk or…”

“I’m good thanks.”

Sheppard’s dismissal annoyed Rodney.  “No offence, Sheppard, but you’re not ‘good’ by any definition of the word.”

The pilot shifted his view back up again.  “Guess not,” he mumbled.

“So, I’m here.  Talk to me.”

John gave the scientist a small smile.  Trust McKay to cut to the chase.  “It’s just…  I can’t believe it’s gone,” he said quietly.

McKay looked confused.  “What do you mean?  What’s gone?”

“I’d only had it for a little while,” Sheppard continued.  “And now it’s just… gone.”

“Sorry, but I’m not following you,” said McKay, bewildered by Sheppard’s statement.  Maybe the Colonel had finally cracked.  Maybe the encounter with the Wraith had been too much.  Maybe there were unknown side effects from having a life-sucking vampire alien restore your life… 

“I loved it, you know?  It felt good.  Natural almost.  And now it’s gone, it feels like someone’s chopped off my arm or something.”

“Okay,” said Rodney slowly, suddenly feeling very worried.  “I think I’m going to call Carson now.”  He reached up for his earpiece.

“What for?” asked Sheppard.

“Uh… well, you’re acting a bit… oddly?” replied McKay, his hand halfway up to his ear.  

“What do you mean?”

This caught McKay by surprise.  “Sorry?”

“What d’you mean ‘oddly’?” Sheppard repeated, giving his colleague a baffled look.

“Oh, well, you’re going on about something you’ve lost,” said McKay.  And I’m thinking that it’s your marbles, he added silently.

“You said you wanted to talk,” said Sheppard hotly.  “If you’re not gonna pay attention…”

“Excuse me?  I was paying attention!  It’s not my fault if you decide to start talking incoherently!” McKay shot back.  “It’d help if I knew what it was that you’ve supposedly lost.”

Sheppard stared at the scientist incredulously.  “You mean you haven’t noticed?”

“No!”

“Rodney McKay, for a genius you sure are dumb at times,” Sheppard snapped.  “It’s been a good couple of weeks!”

“Sheppard, if you don’t tell me what you’re talking about, I swear I’ll stab you with one of Beckett’s needles myself!”

“My jacket,” Sheppard said after a couple of minutes.

McKay stared at him as if his friend had suddenly grown an extra head.  “WHAT?!”

“My leather jacket,” Sheppard said.  “I had to bin it.”

“I’m sorry?!”

“Well, the sleeve was wrecked from that stupid drugged dart – I admit Teyla did a great patch up job, but I knew it was still there.  Not to mention the fact that after my last little visit off-world there were two hulking great holes in the back of it from Kolya’s stupid harpoon gun.  And the real nail in the coffin was that the front got mangled by my charming cell mate.”  He sighed sadly.  “It wasn’t fixable.  Even Teyla couldn’t help.” 

“Your jacket?” McKay asked.  “You were talking about your leather jacket?”

“Yes,” Sheppard replied slowly, as if he was talking to an idiot.  

“You’re moping and acting all depressed because of your jacket?”

“I LOVED THAT JACKET!” Sheppard wailed.

“So let me get this straight, you’re grieving for an inanimate object?”

John stopped dead in his tracks, eyes widening as he saw the look that McKay was aiming in his direction.  “Well…”

“OF ALL THE STUPID GODDAMN REASONS IN THIS GALAXY!” shouted McKay.

“What’s the problem?”

McKay couldn’t believe his ears.  “Problem?!  Here I am, ready to listen to you bare your soul, expecting you to go into disturbingly graphic details about what happened with Kolya and you sit there in mourning for a TACKY LEATHER JACKET?!”  He stood up and gave Sheppard a dirty look.   

“I can’t help it!” said Sheppard, slightly embarrassed.  “It was cool!”

McKay shook his head, rolled his eyes and stomped off.  

“Where’re you going, Rodney?” Sheppard called.  “Rodney?!”

McKay turned back to the pilot.  “You’re UNBELIEVABLE!”

-FIN- 

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I have no shame…